April 12th, 2024.
Van to Danang today. Six more hours on the road. I didn’t sleep properly last night, too much social media, wasting sleep hours on unimportant matters.
The owner of the van is in the passenger seat. No one tells me he is the owner, but I can just tell. I begin the trip admiring him. By the end of the trip, I feel a different way.
On this trip, people I admired the most are the masters of their own kingdom, no matter how small or big. Owners of cafés, working confidently to make each cup of coffee their best. Artisans practicing patiently on their craft, whether it’s ceramic, composing, or designing. This man, the van owner with the big hat, he was the master of this little universe called van, and he ruled as such. He chatted with people outside the van on crossroads. He would stop by different shops, buy something here, buy something there, each time chatting up the people he met. He owned his corner of the universe.
I admire this because I struggle with finding my own kingdom, my own universe to rule. Call it fear o missing out, fear of failure, overthinking or indecision. I dream of all the kingdoms I could make my own, but I have yet to choose one to rule. And so when I find people like big hat van owner over here, I find inspiration in them. To find a task that you can improve each day, something you can potentially master over time and create your own kingdom around it. This is what I aim to find in this trip, and probably on previous trips too.
As we are zipping along the highway, I catch something that withdraws any admiration for big hat van owner. He buys a hot bun in a styrofoam container. He begins ripping the styrofoam, eating the bun and trowing the styrofoam out the window. The first time he does it, I can’t believe how much it affects me. I think, “It’s not my country, is his country, what do I care if he litters?”. This makes no difference, every time he does it, it’s like a shock of disbelief.
I can’t admire someone who does this. But then, I think, he is just another person, just because he is master of his kingdom, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have flaws. “You too have flaws” I think to myself. For one thing, I could work on my compassion, for others and myself. He does other things on the trip that I question, but now, I’ve stopped seeing him as a master, but just a normal person.
During the rest of the trip to Danang, I think about purpose. I think about the purpose of this travel, of Vietnamese culture, of creativity and money.
It’s night now, I’m in Danang. Tomorrow I might cross the border and continue my trip in Laos. Or I might just rest in Danang, hoping to recover the energy that I haven’t felt in a couple of days.
To you, thank you for reading this.
